It took me a little bit to get over meeting Jack Conway. The first time I met him was at Fancy Farm, and when he got up in front of me – I totally froze with a stupid smile on my face and didn’t even shake his hand. But today I was better! I told him who I was, got a pic with him, and told him he was awesome today. I forgot to point out that I was wearing my handcuff earrings in support.

I am so not an early morning person. Getting up a 5 am is a bitch. And I didn’t even get up then, I hit my snooze until almost six. But somehow I crawled out of my burrow and managed to throw an outfit together (though I was sorely tempted to wear my “I’m an independent, rough and ready Kentucky girl” cowboy boots). I did wear black wedges with conservative metal studs in them, though.

I picked up Jessica and we met Steve at the front door of the Carson Center. Terry Reeves from Entre Paducah was kind enough to give us a spot with the media people up in the balcony, and we set up our laptops to cover the event live on Facebook. With two cups of coffee and a 5-hour energy drink in me, I was ready to get me some politics.

The first 15 minutes was a combination Paducah Chamber of Commerce commercial, sponsor Paducah Bank’s self-endorsement, and general “aren’t we awesome”-ness. The media moderator panel consisted of Mike Mallory (who’s just so dang friendly you can’t help but like him), Donna Groves, a seasoned newswoman from local TV and radio, and Bill Bartlemen from The Paducah Sun. I bet Steve ten bucks Bartlemen would nod off during the debate. He was only there for the cheese danish.

The first debate was between Kentucky State Senate candidates, Democrat (ha ha ha!) Rex Smith and independent Bob Leeper. Seriously, I don’t think Smith was born a Democrat and probably never voted Democrat – of course I don’t know that but that’s the word and feeling I get. His dad is Jim Smith from  Jim Smith Construction, which is a pretty big deal in these parts. He’s a very hale and hearty looking fellow. You should see the picture of his fair, WASP-y (of course, they’re Baptists, not heathen Protestants) family on the campaign ads, complete with a “we’re so fortunate and Christian we took in a child from the sweatshops of Guatemala” member of the family. Man, I know that’s bitchy, it just seems so contrived. But then they talk about how his wife was adopted and that opened their eyes to it, so yeah, little bitchy on my part.

Bob Leeper has just been invisible in Western Kentucky in comparison. I really haven’t followed the Kentuckyy Senate...uh, ever. I really don’t even know what they do. I mean, House of Representatives and Senate and all that I get – but oh well. Let’s not be bothered with the trivial stuff. Let’s talk about the bullshit.

Honestly – these guys seemed like practically the same guy. Maybe there were some fine lines I wasn’t following, but it all seemed like the “create more jobs, business as usual stuff.” The only interesting part was when the panel asked Smith if he thought it was a conflict of interest that he owned a construction company and would be receiving government contracts, and he spit out the usual “we’re all fair and honest” drivel and cited the bidding process, and when Leeper was asked the same question, he said, “Uh, we don’t bid for chiropractic work.”

So that debate ended in a wash. I really don’t care for either one of them – so I imagine I’ll write in a vote for Tony Foo Yong. At least he goes for the cheap hookers. (Kidding, Tony, kidding.)

The real showdown was Jack Conway versus Rand Paul. Paul came out in the usual white shirt/red tie power combo (I bet he even had Wheaties for breakfast) and Conway took a more daring route with a light blue shirt and olive green tie. It highlighted those dreamy eyes.

It turned out to be really great that Steve and I were both covering it, because that way one of us could get stuff the other missed, and actually, we had different takes on some of the same stuff. Not just the meaning, but what they were saying. Those politicians can talk all tricky sometimes.

Seriously though, I know I talk about my crush on Conway, and he is a cute dude and all tough with his law and order schtick – but I’m not like his biggest fan.  Some views of his I don’t agree with, and I think anyone would be hard pressed to find a totally honest politician.

BUT – I firmly stand behind the belief that Rand Paul is a whackjob. Dude, he’s crazy. First of all – he’s a tea bag candidate. Mitch McConnell talked about how crazy he was until he beat Trey Greyson in the primaries – then Ol’ Turtle Face himself jumped on the bandwagon. Paul has his rich, racist Texas daddy Ron Paul and the support of all the Glen Becks in the world to throw a shit ton of money in false advertising.

One of my favorite Ron Paul quotes is “If you have ever been robbed by a black, teenaged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.” God, it’s so bad it almost loses it’s humor. But not quite.

Rand Paul has been called a racist because he thinks we should repeal the Civil Rights Act. He thinks good ol’ white people who don’t want to serve black people in their restaurants should be lauded for standing up for their convictions in the face of economic success. But really, it’s not fair to just pigeonhole him as a racist. He also thinks we should get rid of many government agencies that require accountability from big business, as well as the Department of Energy, the Department of Education, Social Security, and everything else. It’s ridiculous how he can stand up there and kowtow to Paducahans about cleaning up the Gaseous Diffusion Plant while saying we should dismantle the very agency that regulates them. How in the hell is that supposed to work? Of course, I think the DOE is kind of a joke at this point, since they’ve been infiltrated by the very businesses they are supposed to be regulating – but you fix it, not get rid of it.

I guess he’s saying that everything should be privatized or run by the states. All I ever heard him say today was “I swear I haven’t said seven times that Medicare should have a $2000 dedcutible” and “Conway believes in Obama-care” and “I want to create jobs!”

Oh – he also said drug abuse was a spiritual problem, and we should let the churches handle it.

Watching that debate was like watching the crazy guy at the library who eats flies argue with Ben Franklin.

Conway was direct, not afraid to punch back, consistent, reasonable, seemed pretty honest, and had intelligent, realistic ideas of how to deal with the problems facing Kentucky and the nation.

He laid out point by point how to create jobs (offering a 20% tax credit for individuals and businesses creating jobs, up to $30 million dollars among others), that the key to dealing with the Health plan is not to throw it out but to fix it, that the key to fixing the economy is to start cracking down on offshore accounts, big business sneakiness, and businesses moving jobs overseas to avoid pesky things like a minimum wage.

The absolute best part of the debate was when Rand Paul was once again hiding behind general teaparty blather and saying that this and that were unconstitutional, and Conway said, “Being the Attorney General, I love being lectured on constitutional law by a self-certified opthamologist.” OMG we cracked up.

Honestly, I just thought he was cute before – but he really blew me away today. I’m not saying he’s perfect, but once again, Rand Paul is fucking insane. How he’s being treated as even a reasonable candidate is beyond me. It goes to show that if you have unlimited resources behind you, you can get a monkey elected to office.

I’ve seen them debate twice now, and both times, Paul was out the door and shooed to his million dollar RV immediately after he spoke. I think his handlers are afraid that any unscripted conversation, such as, “Hey Rand, what’s you’re favorite color?” would turn into, “Well, it’s certainly not black, because black people are the spawn of Satan!”

And if you look close you can see the screws in his neck.

Conway stuck around and shook hands, talked to everyone, and even took a copy of Bazooka. Of course, he was probably just trying to be nice, so don’t hold that against him.

If Kentucky votes Rand Paul in on November 2^nd – I will shit myself. We will be the laughing stock of The Daily Show, as if having Bunning and McConnell wasn’t a bad enough mark on us.

Do your own research – Google it. Look them up, read some of the shit Rand Paul has said. Don’t be misled by this whole, “Hey, he’s not a career politician, business as usual guy. He’s got some different ideas!” Well – shooting yourself in the face is a different idea, doesn’t mean it’s a good one.

So even if you don’t follow politics, please get out and vote on the 2^nd. I’ll give you back scratches. I’ll love you forever. But most of all, I, and the rest of the world, will appreciate you taking a few minutes out of your day to give a shit. :)