Okay, bullshit - I really am. We went ghosthunting last night with my brother Bobby (I think it's B&G Investigations on myspace) - him and his buddy Berry have done ghosty stuff before and have all this equiptment like EVF monitors and Ghost Radar and shit like that. Well Ann (Evilyn A. Heathen) and Cynthia (from Starbucks) decided to join them on their hunt for paranormal proof at Pilot's Knob in Marion, KY.

I'm wanting to take the kids  to the park, but I wanted to write more than a post - so I'm making this short and sweet. I'll do a full sotry in the Halloween issue.

On the way up there, we hit a roadblock. Thankfully I was realy the only one drinking, and I had finished my drink a while back. Ann was driving , but dude, I was still scared as shit! I kept thinking they were going to ask "What're you kids doin' out tonight?" and we'd have to think of something better than, "Uh, hunting for ghosts."

But all was good, they let us go (Ann is a good sweettalker) and we headed up to the hill. I was scared to death, so was Cynthia, and Ann kept calling me a pussy and telling me to grow a pair.

As soon as we got there a cow in a neighboring field was making noises I've never heard a cow make! It sounded like it was being tortured to death.

We climbed a hill, and tat the top there was a grave that was surrounded by a fence. The story is that in 1916 a 5-year-old girl was accused of being a witch, and her mother was accused as well, and the townspeople burned them at the stake. They were so convinced she was evil thazt they covered her grave in concrete (stone?) and put a fence of crosses around it to keep her spirit in.

I  haven't done the research yet, but 1916 is awfully recent to be having witch burnings. So I'll have to look that one up. Supposedly her mother was buried in a shallow grave in the woods close by, and her and her mother search for each other in the night.

Lots of creepy crazy stuff happened - and we think we even talked to the "evil" spirit, The Watchman - who haunts the graveyard trying to keep her in, and was one of the men who burned the two.

Supposedly if you lay down inside her grave and lay down, she won't let you up, you have to have friends help you. But if you're by yourself, she'll pull you down.

We got tons of pics and EVF readings and recordings, at a few times I was overcome by sadness, thinking about my kids, and what a little girl must have felt, and oh god, I just bawled. I sent my love out to her, and told her I hope she's with her mommmy, but that if she's not, her mommy still loves her very much. She touched my back, and when I jumped and said that, Cynthia said, "I just heard her touch your back."

We sheard footsteps all around us, and oh shit, that was terrifying. Cynthia was taking pics all around us during this - and we got a few tiny orbs, but there's one pic that's just too insane...it's two different colored orbs floating in the treeline - I hope the girl found her mother.

My brother had this thing called a Ghost Radar that would pick up electric energy from the air, and somehow pulled out words/ Some spirit or whatever actually said things like "pleasure" House" "middle" "Hill" "contained" and all kinds of creepy shit. We haven't played back some of the other tapes, but god, since we were nervous, we kept joking asnd being silly, too - so you guys will enjoy them. You can't see shit of course because it's dark - but I think she got some video of the EVF going nuts. It would seriously go from 8.4 to 110 and jumping off the scale.  I'll have Cynthia throw something together and you can see a Bella Bazooka ghost hunting video! Damn - I should have done some kind of intro. shit.

But I'll go into more detail about the things that happened - I didn't do anything stupid like call to Demons or anything. I've had bad experiences with dark spirits - dude, call me nuts, but I'm a believer. You should see the bloody shrine i have to Captain Morgan. Kidding, please. lol.

Anyway - taking the kids to the park to play in the sunshine, and love the light and life I got. There's enough darkness out there, you gotta balance it somehow.