Just a little update about what's going on with Bazooka Magazine: I was trying to get the July issue out by the 10th, which was the date the June issue came out, but with all the parties and craziness and good times the past few weeks, yeah...we're running a little behind lol. It's summer! I'm tan and single and horny and distracted - guilty as charged. There has been a lot of skinny dipping in my pool.

Last month we had spent a lot of energy, money, and bartering to pay for the Full Moon in June Party stuff - which was totally worth it - so the budget was really tight. Well, non-existent. For a bit there I was so despondent about the organizational and financial state of the mag, I just didn't know if I could keep it going. That "fuck it" attitude that helps me print controversial things that you love but could get me burned at the stake has a bad side - sometimes I say "fuck it" and crawl in a hole. And read detective novels.

But somehow even when I'm gasping and dying like a fish on the sidewalk, something in me reflexively kicks in and jolts my stuttering heart. Maybe it's that "don't ever give up, don't ever say quit" attitude, maybe it's going out and hearing you guys tell me how much you love the paper, maybe it's fairies.

Whatever it is, I've made some decisions. I know I'm not the most organized or business savy person in the world. Dude, what, I have to be cute, a good writer, a good cook, great in the sack AND a financial mastermind? That would be too much perfection in one girl. I thought for a bit about taking on a partner, but Bazooka is my baby, and I'm not ready to hand over any kind of control. I just need to get a manager!

I've been busting my ass, and gotten about 5 or 6 new advertisers, including this hot new bar in Metropolis called Tail Gators where sexy chicks dance on the bar on the weekends. They're having just as much "Footloose"-like opposition as I am but fighting the good fight. Everything is really coming together and we're going to have an awesome new issue coming out hopefully by Friday, which will have pics from the Full Moon In June party. That's good, because all of us were so smashed that no one remembers anything! None of the boob shots, though, we're going to pretend like we have some class.

We're having another huge party on July 24th at Cheers - and you guys are going to love it. It's Bazooka's Bitches Night Out - Bella's Bachelorette Party. No, I'm not getting married. I'm single as a motherfucker. But so many of us got married at the courthouse, in Gatlinburg (me in Vegas), or were pregnant when we got married (sorry, it's Kentucky) - so we never got to have a real Bachelorette Party! And I know how to throw one. I've given several for friends, and made them carry around 6ft tall inflatable penises all night to have it signed by 50 guys and do numerous blowjob shots.

We're having a Tough Sexy Man contest, and I want all these guys who would never think about getting on stage, like bikers, construction workers, landscapers - the kind of rough men I lust over, to take their shirts off on stage and let us hoot and holler over them. First prize will be $100 gift cetificate to Cheers, of course your pic in Bazooka, and probably a date with just about any of the 200 girls fawning over your hot body, including me. Kid Kosher from Electric 96.9 is going to be our MC (because he's a cute single guy!), and I think Roxy and I are going to announce unofficial auditions on the Outlaw Hours - to be held at my pool. Ah, kidding. Maybe.

We're also having the sex toy party ladies, complete with a little presentation, so you girls who go home without a studmuffin to use and abuse for the night can still get some action. If you've never been to a sex toy party - dude, you are missing out. You would not believe the stuff they have now days. Toys with cyberskin and pulsing, rythmic vibrations with pearls inside with mulitdirectional rotation. Shit you not.

However, I don't think that's going to be a problem - because while we're having our girls-only drunken hussyfest in the big bar, I have a feeling guys are going to be lining up in the pool room bar, hearing us going crazy and getting hornier by the minute, and by the time we let them in the room at around midnight, everyone's going to be ready to rip someone's clothes off. Seriously. Ever see those weird Korean pornos where they have guys on one side of a room and girls on the other, seperated by glass and everyone naked, to just look at each other for two weeks? Then they let the gate down and there is like an explosive orgy. Something about that appeals to me. lol

We're charging $5 at the door - which is hella cheap for a good time! It will be girls and gay men only from 10 pm 'til 11:30pm - and then everyone gets to party and dance together!

I think I'm going to try to have a Bazooka's Bitches Night out every month, with different themes. It's about time we had a decent Ladies Night! For some reason, I really want to have a Reality TV costume contest! I think I'll be Daisy of Love. Or Flavor Flav.

So keep an eye on my Facebook and www.bazookamagazine.com for updates on the party and the new issue, and ask off for Saturday the 24th. I promise I won't flash my boobs this time, but I can't promise the same about male anatomy. It's time for the boys to go wild!