I'm sure you can tell by my posts here and on Facebook lately that I was in a little bit of a self-doubting funk. Thankfully, today I got a little bit of reassurance that went a long way. First of all I met with Berry Craig, a local professor and political historian who has a wicked sense of humor. He also does a local public access show that he's invited me to be interviewed on. I love sitting there and talking with him about some serious dirty local scandals, stuff we would never be able to talk about on his show! And talking a healthy dose of smack about the bullshitters and hypocrites, too. Love it. I could talk with that dude for hours.

Then I went to a local watering hole, and one of the dudes in charge I hadn't had the chance to meet yet was there. At first he thought I was just another salesperson and kinda tried to blow me off, lol. But then I was talking with the guy who knows me and we mentioned Bazooka and the guy was like, "Oh my god! You're BELLA?!" I love when people say that. He said, "Wow...I feel like I know you! Seriously, I read your stuff cover to cover. My wife and I love it. This is awesome! Can you hang out? Can you have a beer?" Oee of the patrons was asking who I was, and he said, "She does this awesome local paper. When it comes out, we all fight over it!"

It's stuff like that that just totally makes my day. When I feel like maybe I'm doing something bad and just losing faith in myself, I hear stuff like that and I realize that I make a lot of people happy. Berry said, "You know how many writers and journalists would kill to do what you do? You are able to write whatever you want, you don't have some corporation telling you what to do...you're living the dream."

Damn straight. I'm living the dream. Sometimes it kicks my ass and I get scared and feel like I'm fucking everything up - but it's going to be okay. Well shit, jui jitsu's in ten minutes so I can't wrap this up with some awesome ending. I guess all I can say is....kick ass.