I'm writing this from Scott's laptop because my computer is just full of crap and won't get on the Internet. Damn porn cookies. Anyway, it's been a hell of a week! I've been trying to sell raffle tickets (and not very well because I'm too shy to go up to strange men - I know, weird, huh?) I put some terribly slutty posters up around town, always good lol. Wednesday we went out for a bit just making sure all the bars were stocked with papers and putting Win a Date with Bella posters up and actually I sold about 1o tickets. Pretty cool, eh? Of course, Duncan's bought two lol. But most of my friends happen to be cute awesome guys like Turtle, Pat Hook, Rowdy Dowdy, and the awesome Internet-fixer Scott. I've had a few girls buy tickets, too, because they know I'm a damn good time!

Anyway, we went out Wednesday but had to make it a short night. Had to be home by 10:30 damnit. Thanksgiving was the usual, cook a bunch, clean a bunch, eat a bunch. Jon, being the wild man (wild as in game hunting) he is, brought over deer and elk tenderloin. The elk had been wrapped in bacon and was so freaking tender! I usually don't eat game, but this shit was good. The jerky wasn't bad either.

Then I went out with Ginny and Ann Friday night - I knew everyone would be out. I was hoping I could run into some of the fuckers I went to school with who just loved giving me shit over the years as I brought them cocktails at jeremiah's - saying shit like, "Waitress? Waitress!" and snapping there fingers. I'm like, bitch, you know my name, because I picked up your desk sophomore year and called you cunt. Cunt.

So we notice that The Star was packed, hell you couldn't park anywhere. Ginny found a spot, but then realized she was blocking someone in, so when Ann and I saw a spot opening up right in front of the bar we ran over and stood in the spot, and waited for Ginny to back out and come over. Well, of course some fucking old asshole pulls up in his 45K crossover and starts pulling in, saying, "Move it, girlie." He had his ugly ass wife with him, pinched mouth that I'm sure has never opened for a dick, and he was obviously a fucking doctor or lawyer because his fucking attitude was just so fucking superior.

He said, "I can wait here longer than you can." Well, I wasn't moving and I told him so. He kept inching up and I just stood there, looking at him shocked, I'm like, "What you're gonna fucking hit me?" He got within six inches of my legs. I told Ann to go inside and get the owner Scott. His wife got out, with her poodle-ass triangle head perm and horn-rimmed glasses, never looking at me and said, "Well I'll take care of this, I'll go get the manager."

By this time, Ginny had found another spot, hell we had people all gathered 'round, lol, my friends of course, and they were like, "Man, I kinda want to stand here on principal." But fuck it, I thought of a way to make him worry a little. I leaned over towards his window and said, "Well, my friend found a spot, so we're going to go inside and drink. but I sure hope nothin' bad happens to your car tonight."

And the girls were like, oh hell, lets go have shots lol.

It was freaking packed! Shell waited on us so we even had an in, but it still took a while. Ran into Denny from Roof Brothers and got a pic of him working his magic with the ladies! lol Went outside, ran into Nathan Brown and Sarah Culp and all kinds of people. But we also knew we had a tab at Duncan's, so off we went!

Man it was dead. Sad. But, we made it happenin'! We ran into Flumpy, someone I knew way back in the day. He said someone was thinking about opening the Pickle up again. Good Lord. If you're too young and didn't get to go to the Pickle, it's like when people make me feel all bad about missing the old Twinkling Star. The Pickle was where the Walgreens on the Southside is, right by the strip club and the waffle house - prime freaking location. His friend Tony was telling me how manly he was, how he hit a deer with his car and went running off into the woods with his nine to go get it. But, he did say he liked the paper and was about to send the "I Love P-Town" piece to his buddy.

Then, the crew walked in. Hook, Turtle, Rowdy, they brought some boys in. They had a tall cop Magnum PI, Jeff-Foxworthy lookin motherfucker with them...turns out it was Chris Golightly! Hell I used to date the motherfucker, didn't even recognize him. I love those boys. They make me feel like such a good woman! And they buy me shots. Boone Reed was there hangin out as well, good times.

So the guys wanted to go to the star, and of course wanted us to go with them, and we were like - look, here we have a bar tab, and we're broke. So unless someone wants to buy us drinks, we can't go.

They said, no problem.

So all seven of us tried to pile into Hook's truck, and even with some lap sitting there wasn't enough room. I was sitting on someone's lap and had to pretty much bend backwards into the back seat and my boobs were right in everyone's face - nothing too unusual. We threw Boone in the back of the truck, lol - and Turtle, who had a been in his hand, said, "How many outlaw motherfuckers ride around with their own lawyer in the bed of their pickup?"

Back at the Star we had a few more drinks, Golightly told me how much he and his wife loved the paper, hell at that point, things started getting a little fuzzy. I know all the boys told me how much they loved me and they were all trying to pick Ginny up - I'm like, dudes, it's probably ain't giong to happen. They were all going huntin in the morning and had just decided to stay up all night. Fuck it, woo!

So they headed out to get breakfast fixins for a party at The Cabin, and Jon was going to head out there too so I told them to drop me off there. The truck pulls up all cockeyed on the lawn, a case of bud is rolling around in the backseat, Turtle is pissin on the tire, and I walk up and open the door and say, "Hey baby, want a date?"

Of course Jon had to show Turtle the camo hat he made for huntin - a Kevlar helmet with strips of camo hanging two feet down it. I'm like, guys, the deer can't see bright orange - camo, really? Whatever. I'm sure someone's going to get on here and tell me all about it.

Anyway, Jon and I had some grownup time....ah...wait, give me a second to think about it. Dang. And then Mom called saying the baby had a fever and I had to go home. Shit.

That's the end of the fun stuff - came home, rocked the baby 'til 6am, slept half the day. Have to drive to Nashville here in an hour or so, fuck I'm too tired!

So anyway, hopefully Scott's got my POS computer fixed. Plan on coming out to Duncan's next Friday night and i'll be drawing the winner of the Win a Date contest at midnight, so you have until then to get your tickets! When ya'll here about how much fucking fun we had on our date, you'll wish you'd have bought one!

Th